Hey sports fans,
Unless you spent the past two weeks in comatose or you wagered a fortnight's worth of television on the Packers to win in Tampa, you probably heard of Elizabeth Lambert of the University of New Mexico Lobos. Lambert plays defense for her university's women's soccer team, and incurred the "tsk tsk" of North American media outlets for violent conduct on a soccer pitch...
Violence in SOCCER? NOT SOCCER? WHY THE BEAUTIFUL GAME IS TOO PURE AND HOLY TO BE DEFILED BY SUCH ACTIONS!
Indeed she did; in case you never saw the clips or can't see them enough, please watch the following highlight clip below this paragraph. This news item is brought to you by ESPN, Youtube, and the number 15...
Elizabeth Lambert on ESPNI must state, before I begin, Ms. Lambert's conduct was deplorable and reprehensible. Her actions embarrassed the game of soccer, the NSCAA, the University of New Mexico, Brigham Young University, both sets of players, coaches, fans, her family and friends, and most of all the individual named Elizabeth Lambert. There is no telling what damage her on-field actions will do to her career and reputation as her university handed her an indefinite suspension from the program. I agree with the action UNM took in suspending Ms. Lambert, however, the following list of reasons will serve to explain why we can't blame Ms. Lambert for being that girl in the soccer highlights.
5. Brigham Young University
This selection sounds like a cop-out to the casual observer because it could be any other university at #5. What counts here is BYU wanted to win and in the worst way possible (1-0). Whether it is in team sports or military combat, the enemy is no longer human; they are a 'roadblock' standing between you and success. Elizabeth Lambert and her UNM teammates believed BYU was that 'roadblock' to overcome, and Ms. Lambert took the example to heart.
Perhaps she was returning similar favours from previous contests with BYU or other opponents? Perhaps 'the opponent' ran up the score on her team, reduced her goalie and teammate to a puddle of tears, and even found the back of the net from 30 yards out? Perhaps someone called her a name she did not like? We will never know; what remains is a four minute highlight tape of Ms. Lambert's worst moments as a soccer player and Brigham Young's finest student athletes being taken advantage of by a ruthless opponent.
Whether Ms. Lambert played against BYU or any other college would make little or no difference; since there is no evidence she premeditated actions on the players of BYU, it stands to reason she would have behaved the same way that hour of that day against any other team UNM played against.4. Coaching
Before typing this essay, I watched one of the Big East semifinals and the Big East championship on CBS College Sports Channel for some background information on the college game. A conference championship should be a big deal in the United States, at least in college football anyway. Both the semifinal, which pit Notre Dame against St. John's, and the final, again featuring Notre Dame and Marquette, were almost carbon copies of each other in three respects.
- Long ball tactics or 'Island hopping': Pump the ball downfield as hard as you can, and hope someone from the same team is underneath to stop it from bouncing.
- Set pieces or 'Where's Waldo?': During free kicks or corner kicks, there will be at least one person suffering a brain cramp when the ball is in the air.
- In the words of George W. Bush, "If it feels good, do it; if you got a problem, blame somebody else.": Absolve yourself of blame if the ball is in your net; a blank stare will suffice.
Collegiate soccer is years behind in terms of speed, technique, creativity, and fitness level. Speaking on the last point alone, if I coached a girls' team and one of the girls on my team made a ridiculous cartwheel throw-in maneuver in practice, I would berate her off the field and onto the reserves bench behind the substitutes bench. What happened to lifting weights? What happened to proper throwing technique, accuracy, establishing offense or counterattack? What exactly does falling end over end like a moron prove except to blur vision, lose accuracy, and lose possession?
Another sticking point, for example, is the loss of urgency in the college game. Marquette is losing 2-1 with the clock ticking down and their coach refuses to change from a rigid 4-4-2 formation to a hurry-up, everyone forward, long ball attack mode. Punctuating this lack of creativity is a ridiculous Marquette throw-in along the sidelines to no one other than Irish midfielders. Before college coaches can hope to revolutionize the game of soccer, they must first catch up with the times.
Ms. Lambert took advantage of these outdated tactics employed in college soccer when she used violent tactics to break up ancient offensive strategies.3. The Ref
They are nameless, overweight, awkward, ghastly, wearing mustard yellow and black Tye Dye outfits, and they make Brett Hull's winner in '99 look legitimate (Hi Jim Kelley!).
The referee during this fiasco comes in at #3 because again like most nameless, one game only referees in the college game he lacked training in handling this powder keg. One question arises during the highlight package ESPN spun together of Ms. Lambert's last game: "Why did the referee permit this to go on?"
There is no answer because the referee has no name, no reputation, and there is no evidence of a formal review process. If any of the previous three things are known to the general public, then there could be an avenue for one to investigate further into the actions and abilities of the referee and his linesmen (if anyone has information to the contrary, please let me know so I can post it as a reply/update and avoid legal trouble. I don't like going after referees like this, but I have very little to go on. Thanks!).
There was an apology from Ms. Lambert, yet no word from the NSCAA about the status of the officials in charge during that game, and if they are still officiating for the NSCAA. If there was information about these officials that would compromise the safety of players on the field, then the NSCAA could take necessary action (warn the officials they are being monitored, or find new officials to referee the game).
Ms. Lambert acted towards the BYU players in this way because she knew she could. The referee ruined a game no one would have remembered had he acted swiftly like any good ref would have (more on the previous sentence in #1, but read #2 first).By the way, the worst referee ever is a tie between
Christos Michas and
Michel Kitabdjian.
2. The rules
Unlimited substitutions? What the point in being a starter if you are off the field in six minutes? Possibly a product of the 'feel good' generation, unlimited substitutions means every player on the roster could play at least one minute in the game. Alongside other monstrosities as 'everyone gets a trophy day' and 'every game ends in a tie', unlimited substitutions make the starting lineup irrelevant, and place quantity ahead of quality.
Fitness in sports, in particular soccer, is a must. The coach must count on the player to play the entire game and still think and play in the 85th minute almost the same way as in the 2nd minute of the game. The mindset of a player and her fitness level are interwoven with respect to this idea: If a player believes she is good for 60 minutes, then she will play for better than 60 minutes (fitness +/- adrenaline + willpower). Unlimited substitutions, therefore, hampers the mindset of the player because she will 'look over her shoulder' for the coach to sub her out or in at any given time. As a result, how the player spends her time on the field, which I call "quality", is less important or irrelevant when compared to the amount of time given to the player on the field or "quantity".
Another subject about the "quality and quantity" of time is about the game clock: It never stops! While the clock runs from 45 minutes to zero non-stop, except for injuries, no one makes admission for injury time (time added for stoppages). In theory, if team A leads team B by one goal with seven minutes to play they could kick the ball out of play for four of those minutes, and thus play only 41 minutes in that half. The issue of the clock running down is troublesome, but no injury time in soccer is ridiculous.
In life someone wins and someone loses, someone gets to start at central midfield and another gets to keep the bench from flying away, someone plays in the game and someone waits in the stands because they could not crack the lineup card. Life is about winning, losing, and how to deal with both; until we can, college soccer will never be more than a sideshow.
Ms. Lambert took advantage of the rules when she attacked any or all BYU players around her at random. The players on the field for UNM and BYU were not focused on feeding off or withstanding Ms. Lambert's actions; while BYU defeated UNM 1-0, the quality and spirit of the contest was no doubt diminished.1. YOU
Returning to the previous example of the Big East Championship, one would notice the empty stands, tents, the vast grassy clearing in front of the trees, the school gymnasium, and the parking lot. What was missing, aside from twenty or so onlookers that got in for free, were people...this means YOU: The person who doesn't care about soccer and the person that equates soccer to watching paint dry or grass grow! If there is no immediate action, danger or timer, then sports like soccer in North America are an inconvenience.
A glaring example can be found in the hapless broadcasters stuck talking about the mind-numbing and standstill action taking place. The endless banter about things about outside of the contest at hand, the over-sized and overused graphics of irrelevant and outdated data, the endless repeats of the university mantra from the previous century, and the "return to the exciting contest as soon as something interesting happens" (a la Monty Python) formula North American broadcasters regurgitate during soccer games. While these annoyances prompt this soccer fan to press the
button, they are all for YOU to get YOU interested in soccer.
The idiocy behind the rules for overtime, the purposeful match-fixing of teams to play for shootouts, and the zoom-in of cameras on ugly players blubbering tears after losing important games; these and other ridiculous ideas are designed for YOU. If YOU showed interest in soccer, the rules would reflect how one must play soccer, the referees would be accountable and not anonymous, the tactics would be more creative and not archaic, and the level of play would be up there with MLS or, perish the thought, the Premier League!
However, YOU don't care about soccer that much...YOU are only interested in the Elizabeth Lamberts of the world. YOU let reasons #2-5 come about because of lack of interest in soccer, therefore YOU are the reason not to blame Elizabeth Lambert! If Ms. Lambert did not become the Ms. Lambert in the ESPN highlight package, then you would never have known Elizabeth Lambert existed and you would have never finished reading this installment of "The Franchise".
Thanks for reading,
Phil
